AslansDesire-ARE-epub Read online

“You’re shitting me.”

  A snort snuck out of her nose when she laughed. The wine was definitely a good idea. “No, I’m not actually. It wasn’t really something I was completely cognizant of at the time but that’s when it stemmed from.”

  “Hmm…” Lowered eyebrows accompanied the noise out of his throat.

  “And the second question?”

  “Actually, I’m going to change it. I was going to ask if I did something wrong recently to trigger your worrying. I was still positive it had something to with the pitstop, but that can’t be it. We got married more than ten years ago. So, why now, I guess? Why not talk to me about whatever is on your mind years ago?”

  “I actually need to probably answer all of those questions. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did something very, very right, which made me think of something that happened on our honeymoon. Actually, it was on the way to the honeymoon. It’s something I’ve thought of off and on since then but now I can’t get it out of my head. I’m thinking about it constantly and it’s grown big enough that I need to address it.”

  “Address what?”

  “My next fantasy request.”

  “You’ve lost me.” Reaching over, he took hold of her hands and squeezed them. “I thought you were mad at me or thinking about leaving me. Hell. I don’t know what I thought. But I certainly didn’t think it was going to bring on a fantasy.”

  “Oh God, Zeke. I’m so sorry. I’m so…sorry.” Without another thought, she crawled onto his lap and straddled his thighs. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held on tight. “I would have stopped being a pansy weeks ago if I knew you were thinking anything like that.” She kissed his neck and he squeezed her hard.

  “You’re my whole world, Aslan. All of it. Work, home, sex, love. My future. Without you there’s just—” He shrugged. “Nothing. You’re everything I need. Everything I want. Fuck. You’re the only woman that turns me on. If you ever left me, I think I’d just become a monk.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she moved back to stare at him. “That’s just it. I’ve been worried I’m not what… Wait. Let me start at the beginning. Do you remember what happened on the way to our hotel after we got married?”

  “Ugh.”

  “No ugh. Just answer the question.”

  “I ripped your dress in the limo. Pretty sure you had to make coasters out of the material when I was done with it.”

  “Exactly.” She smiled but he’d put his head on the back of the couch again so he couldn’t see.

  “Exactly, what? I destroyed your dress. Not just any dress. Your wedding dress. Ugh.”

  Instead of asking, she took his head in her hands and lifted it to face her again. “It was perfect. You were perfect.”

  “No. I wasn’t. It was the only time, until recently, when I let my control slip with you. I freaked out afterwards, thought I’d hurt you.”

  “You didn’t.”

  “But I could ha—”

  She cut him off with her fingertips over his lips. “Until recently, I’ve never felt more sexy, more desired than I did in that limo. You are the most attractive man I’ve ever met. You could have any woman. Don’t make that face at me. Any woman. And in that limo, you couldn’t take the time to remove my dress by the buttons and zipper. You had to get to me, to take me.” His cock jerked beneath her and she sucked in a sharp breath. Her confession tumbled out of her, unable to keep it inside any longer. “Since it never happened again, I’ve been scared you didn’t want me like that anymore. Because I’m older. I’m not twenty-two anymore.” She shrugged, feeling shy. “I’ve been afraid you didn’t find me as attractive, so you had no problem holding yourself back from just taking me when you wanted to. Needed to.” Her voice dropped to a whisper again and her gaze dropped to his chest.

  She counted to ten.

  To twenty.

  Thirty.

  She got to forty-three before he finally spoke.

  “How could you possibly think that? How could you even for a second believe that I thought you were anything but the sexiest, hottest, most perfect woman on the planet—much less in my bed every night?”

  She shrugged again. “You didn’t seem to need me the same way. With the same intensity.” Meeting his gaze, she had to convince herself to hold his eye-contact. “And don’t get me wrong, I love making love to you. Love it when you roll me over in the morning and slide into me without speaking. Love it when we make love in the shower with the steam all around us. But I want the other, too. I want the raw sex. Need it. I need to know that I still do it for you.”

  With his hands on her hips, he ground her down on his crotch as he rubbed against her. “Can you not tell that you really, really do it for me?”

  “I know I turn you on sometimes.”

  “All the time.” He nodded before he continued. “All. The. Time. I’m not shitting you. There are days that I could jack off three times at work watching you walk by in those bouncy skirts you wear.”

  “But that’s it right there. You’re still so in control of yourself. Which brings me to my fantasy and if what you say is true—”

  “Which it is, since we don’t lie to each other.”

  “Then fulfilling my fantasy a few times shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “A few times?” He eyed her, and she rubbed against his cock a time or two before gathering more courage to ask for what she needed.

  “A few times. I want what we had in that limo. When the urge to fuck me overcomes you, I don’t want you to fight it. I just want you to take me. Raw. Dirty. Rough. I want it all.”

  “But I could hurt you.”

  “Intentionally, maybe,” she conceded. “And I’m pretty certain we’ve covered that a time or two recently. That bite of pain?” She dug her fingernails into his dress shirt, making him hiss. Licking her lips, she reiterated what she’d been telling him for weeks. “I like it. Dream of it. Need it, on occasion. And if you need to give it to me, then I most definitely want to take it.”

  The muscles along his jaw pulsed in time to the clenching of his teeth together. “How exactly do you see your fantasy playing out?”

  “That’s just it. It’ll be up to you. When the mood strikes you and you want to fuck me so bad you can’t see straight, then stop fighting it and just take me. In a movie theater, in the car on the way to dinner, at work. Whatever.”

  “At work? Are you serious? We’ve always been very careful about how much PDA we share at work. I barely give you a peck on the mouth if anyone is around. And people are always around. Now you just want me to lift your skirt and go at you just because I want to?”

  “With a little bit of precaution, yes. We have doors to our offices. Maybe we should use them more. Maybe sex during the day would be awesome.”

  “This coming from the woman who works more than I do and refuses to leave the office if things aren’t done.”

  “What can I say? I’m a rockstar.”

  “But you can be a bit…snippy…when you’re at work and you get interrupted.” He brushed his hand over his hair. A trait she’d begun to associate with him choking the very tight leash he had on his control. “And I’m not certain if you realize but we actually make quite a bit of noise when we fuck. What do you want me to do about that at work?”

  “Bring a gag?” she offered as a joke. Sort of.

  He stopped rubbing his hair and slowly lowered his hand.

  With him staring into her eyes, she dropped another wall she knew she’d placed between them a long time ago. She let him see her need, her sincerity in what she said. In what she needed.

  “But what if I’m ready to go and you’re not?” He asked.

  “I’ll get there.”

  “That’s not consent.”

  “Consent comes in many forms, Zeke.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “Don’t believe me?”

  “Not entirely.”

  “So when you roll me over onto my stomach in the middle of the night are you sto
pping to ask for permission?”

  “Well not, but—”

  “And when you climb between my legs and push inside me in one…slow…thrust…are we stopping to have a discussion about whether I consent to what you’re doing?

  “Of course not, but—”

  “What’s the difference, then? Because one is soft and gentle it’s okay, but when it’s rough and aggressive I need to specifically give me approval each and every time?” She shook her head. “That’s not how this works and you know it. I’m giving you my consent right now. To take me. To use me. To fulfill whatever sexual needs you have. I’m asking you to just let go. I’m telling you I want you. All of you. Now you just have to give yourself the same permission. I need you to want me like that. I need it. Desperately.”

  “You’re serious.” His voice held several emotions she wasn’t certain of. Hesitancy, disbelief and something far more precious.

  Hope.

  Staring back at him, she nodded and clasped her hands together tightly behind his neck. She brought their foreheads together with a sigh.

  The unease and worry she’d felt for weeks melted away. It slid from her body and disappeared like a bad dream.

  In its place?

  Desire and love. The unconditional kind she’d only ever felt for Zeke. But this time it was magnified. Stronger.

  Amazing.

  She hated that he’d doubted her love for him. Even for a second.

  Marriage.

  Nobody ever said it came with a user’s manual.

  “I know what I’m asking for isn’t easy for you. I know for whatever reason you have it in your mind you can’t be who you are, but I’m telling you right now. I need you, all of you, every tiny piece that you don’t think I can handle? I want that, too. I want to feel that edge of insanity from you again. What I felt in the limo, and the night on the ship after I propositioned you, and the day I met you in the bathroom at the pitstop. That’s the you I crave every moment of every day. When you let your control slip, it’s like I get this glimpse into what you might feel for me.”

  “What I do feel for you. What I always feel for you.”

  “Then surprise me. Anytime. Anywhere. When you need me, take me.” Kissing him was as natural as breathing. Their lips came together like two oceans mixing in a tide pool. Intense. Breathtaking.

  Aslan shivered as he kneaded her ass. Looking into his eyes, she could tell he still needed some convincing. “And if you take too long, I might push a few of your buttons to entice you a bit. And no, I’m not trying to top from the bottom. That dynamic does nothing for me.”

  “You already entice me. Every moment of every day.”

  Her lips pulled up into a huge smile and she bit her lower lip as she slipped off the couch onto her knees in front of him. Tugging at his belt, she undid the buckle and then released his slack’s button and zipper. He pulled his shirt tails up as she freed his cock. Hard. He was so hard. His head might be on the fence but his dick was very much on board with her plan. “You’ve never seen me push your buttons before, Zeke. Now I almost hope you take a while, just so I can play a bit.” She licked him from his balls to the wet tip of his cock before she sucked him into her mouth.

  “You’re going to kill me with that mouth of yours.”

  She sucked his shaft until her mouth popped off the end. Looking up at him, she licked him nice and slow. “Maybe. But talk about a way to go.”

  Chapter Three

  In her defense, she did warn him.

  More than three weeks had passed since they’d had their discussion on the couch about her fantasy and her fears.

  It had been three weeks of anticipation, desire and frustration.

  They’d made love a lot, but nothing really out of the norm.

  Amazing sex didn’t even come close to describing what their sex life was. It was out of this world hot.

  But not once had Zeke surprised her by ripping her clothes off to get to her. No shoving her over the back of the couch to fuck her. Not even any door locking at work or pulling the emergency stop on the elevator on the new ship to “test” it for sturdiness.

  She’d caught him eyeing her though.

  Quite a few times.

  Sometimes several times a day.

  Several times an hour.

  A heated look she’d always thought she imagined was there plain as day. Before he’d always cover it up as something else. Several times she’d thought he was about to act on the impulses coursing through his body.

  Then…nothing.

  She blew out a discouraged breath and tried to relax the muscles in her shoulders.

  Straightening her apron, she made sure it sat just right at her neck. It looked like a little black dress, with pearls at the neckline and lace at the bottom. Standing in her kitchen, making cookies on a Saturday had happened countless times before.

  Hundreds probably.

  Aslan dumped the chocolate chips into the batter, the final ingredient to add before her Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies were ready to bake.

  But this time she’d “forgotten” to buy vanilla at the store and she had to have it for the cookies.

  Yes, it was a tiny white lie.

  Yes, Zeke had been a bit growly when she’d asked him to go to the store a couple blocks away to grab some.

  Yes, she’d already added vanilla into the cookie dough.

  Yes, getting into her current outfit was the reason she needed him to leave.

  She stirred the last ingredient in and set the bowl on the counter before checking the clock. The front door opened, then closed and she smiled as she turned the oven on.

  Damn. She almost felt sorry for him.

  Almost.

  “I got your vanilla.”

  Bending at the waist, she opened the drawer below the oven to pull out a large cookie sheet.

  “Road construction traffic was shitty. That damn pothole right past the gate is going to—”

  The vanilla hit the floor beside his foot as soon as he walked into the kitchen.

  No, she didn’t have much else on other than the robe.

  No, she hadn’t forgotten to put on crotchless panties to go with her garter and stockings.

  No, she didn’t have to miss his shocked face when he found her standing there in her five-inch spiked heels. His reflection in the face of the oven was quite easy to see, since she was still bent over, looking for her pesky cookie sheet.

  “What are you doing?” The gruff rumble in his voice liquefied her core.

  Knowing what she did to him gave her a new confidence she didn’t really know she was missing. “Making cookies.”

  Not a lie.

  “In that outfit.”

  Not a question.

  “Been meaning to wear this apron for a while. Thought the cookies would be a great reason to test it out.” Aslan grabbed the cookie sheet and set it on the top of the stove, then bent down again to close the drawer.

  Zeke approached slowly, as if she’d turn and attack him. Sooooo not the plan.

  Standing up again as he closed the distance between them, she pivoted around so he could see the front, too. “Isn’t it cute?” Slowly, she turned in a circle, making one full revolution.

  “Cute is not exactly what I would call that.” Grasping her shoulder, he twisted her around until she was almost facing away from him again. Slowly, he brushed her hair over one shoulder, exposing her back to him. The tips of his fingers skated down her spine from where the apron tied at the top to where she’d tied it at her waist. Then his knuckles traced the arc of her back and along the curve of her ass.

  Him pushing her over until she was on her elbows on a clear portion of the countertop, made her heart skip a beat. “What would you call it?”

  “Mine.” The word rumbled out of him as his fingers moved down the crack of her ass and then between her thighs. “Crotchless panties. Holy shit.” The slickness of her pussy juice on the lips of her sex made him growl. “Fuck. You’re so wet.”<
br />
  “Been thinking about you.”

  “Oh, yeah? What have you been thinking about?”

  The timer on the oven beeped once, signaling it was pre-heated.

  Zeke slid his finger inside the sheath of her pussy one time and then pulled it out. Over her shoulder, she watched him suck his finger into his mouth.

  The sigh slipped out before she could stop it and she eyed his tongue as he licked his finger one last time.

  Glancing at the counter, she followed his eyes. He stared at the finished cookie dough, and at the vanilla sitting next to the bowl. “Looks like you may have found some vanilla already.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  Then his eyes found the coconut oil. Something they’d discussed quite a few times to try as a lube for anal sex.

  He cleared his throat. Twice. “Sounds like your oven is ready.”

  She could almost feel his veil of control settling around him like a shield.

  Oh. Hell. No.

  “Were you looking for some help making cookies?” His innocent expression couldn’t mask the erection straining his shorts or the way his hand kept making a fist on the counter.

  In control.

  Always in control.

  Not today.

  There was a certain matter about a fantasy she’d discussed and she was ready to collect.

  She stood and moved past him. “I’d love some. Let me just pick up that extra vanilla. Never know if we might need more.” Didn’t take her five seconds to walk over to the entry way where Zeke had dropped his bag earlier. “My thighs are wet.” Need to know information and he definitely needed to know.

  Bending over oh so slowly took longer than five seconds and she made sure her feet were wide enough for her husband to see everything he needed to.

  A mumbled “fuck it” reached her across the kitchen a second before Zeke was on her. Instead of taking her down to the floor as she expected, he lifted her torso and shoved her against the pantry door.

  Getting her palms flat on the wood, she wasn’t certain if he thought she was going to protest but he planted one of his hands on her back between her shoulder blades. Hard.

  Her black “nothing but strings and lace” panties didn’t last two seconds after he grabbed them. Tossing the shredded pretty on the floor, he lifted one of her legs behind the knee and hooked her heel around the pantry doorknob.